We all want to get the most out of life. For some, this includes experiencing as much physicality and materialism as possible. From the Torah’s perspective, the principle is, surprisingly, a valid one. However, as you might expect, it manifests itself differently.
In this week’s portion, we encounter Jacob as a refugee in the home of his mother’s brother, Laban. It is in this home that Jacob spends the next twenty years. During this time Jacob marries both of Laban’s daughters - Rachel and Leah, fathers eleven children and has a tumultuous and quarrelsome relationship with Laban, before finally parting.
The Torah has made no secret of the familial relationship between Rebecca and Laban. It is clear. They are brother and sister. Nevertheless, almost every time the Torah mentions Laban’s name during Jacob’s initial encounter with Laban’s family, the Torah reminds us that Laban is the brother of Rebecca (Jacob’s mother).
“And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of Laban,his mother's brother and the sheep of Laban, his mother's brother, that Jacob drew near and rolled the rock off the mouth of the well, and he watered the sheep of Laban, his mother's brother” (29:10).
A few verses later the same notion is echoed.
“Now it came to pass when Laban heard the report of Jacob, his sister's son, that he ran towards him, and he embraced him, and he kissed him, and he brought him into his house. He told Laban all these happenings” (29: 13).
Family connections and lineage are both fair methods of presenting a new character, but once we are informed of their relationship, it need not be repeated. Why does the Torah, a document without any superfluous letters, words or sentences, find it necessary to remind us three separate times that Laban is the brother of Jacob’s mother Rebecca?
Rabbeinu Bachya (Bachya ben Asher ibn Halawa, circa mid-13th century) explains that as Jacob attended to Laban, his focus was on his mother Rebecca. The admiration Jacob had for his mother was his inspiration to assist her brother Laban.
Through further examination of the context we can gain a better appreciation for Rabbeinu Bachya’s words.
Rashi (28:9) comments that Jacob spent twenty-two years away from his parents, during which time, he did not properly honor them. Jacob was ultimately punished for not honoring his parents for all those years in a quid pro quo fashion, by being separated from his own son Joseph, for precisely twenty-two years.
Jacob realized that he was in a predicament where he was unable to directly honor his parents. He decided to try to mitigate the lost opportunity by seizing any and every chance to show them respect. Initially, Jacob did not see Rachel as a prospective spouse. Rather, he viewed her as the daughter of Laban. A man whose entire esteem lay in the fact that he was Rebecca’s brother. Thus, every act of kindness that Jacob did for Rachel and Laban, including: removing the stone (29:10), providing water to the sheep (ibid.), and showing affection for Rachel (29:11), was done as a tribute and honor to his mother Rebecca.
Jacob appreciated the fact that it was necessary to be as creative as possible in showing honor to his mother, even while in exile. Thus, Jacob took advantage of the “here and now,” and lived life to the fullest.
An important element of honoring Jacob’s parents is evident at the beginning of this entire episode.
And Isaac called Jacob and blessed him, and he commanded him and said to him, "You shall not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. Arise, go to Padan Aram, to the house of Bethuel, your mother's father, and take yourself from there a wife of the daughters of Laban, your mother's brother. And may the Almighty God bless you and make you fruitful and multiply you, and you shall become an assembly of peoples” (28:1-3).
It seems that Jacob’s destination, during his time in exile away from his parents, is a product of his father’s wishes. Isaac’s exhortation and blessing is that Jacob travel to Laban’s house, marry and have children so that an “assembly of peoples” may come into existence.
There is a crucial aspect to living in the “here and now” that is worthy of mention. It has been said that a “speech about everything is a speech about nothing.” Some people think that the more you do the more you accomplish. Consequently, they try to do many things simultaneously. The result of their scattered focus is that they complete nothing. “Jack of all trades, master of none,” is the potential fallout of unfocused ambition. Conversely, single-mindedness is the key ingredient needed in the recipe for results.
Like many universal truths, this idea is found in the Torah.
After working for fourteen years, Jacob tells his father in law, “Give me my wives and children for whom I have worked for you, for I would go, for you know my service, how I have served you” (30:26). Rav Samson Hirsch (1808-1888) comments, “Perhaps no other man has ever endured fourteen years of such service. For fourteen years Jacob worked not in order to provide for his wife and children but in order to earn the right to have a wife and children. He had served for fourteen years of toil in order to marry two wives, neither of whom had a dowry.” The result of these fourteen years of toil is twelve children, twelve distinct tribes, the pillars and roots of a nation. The existence of the House of Jacob, the people of Israel, is rooted in Jacob’s single minded focus.
Living life to the fullest, means seizing the moment as it arises. Living in the “here and now” means focusing one’s intention so that the task and goal are attained in the best possible manner. Jacob is the Jewish prototype of these two interlocking ideas. Through careful consideration of Jacob’s life we can extrapolate the path to real success.
